Cell Phones
The other day while sitting at a stop sign I came within a foot of being run under by a big Chevy Suburban. This big SUV was driven by a woman who was more interested in her conversation on her cell phone than where her tank was going. I honked my horn and she actually looked out the window and swerved to avoid contact. I received a dirty look from her for interrupting her important conversation to call her attention to the fact that she was driving a car. You have to ask...Is talking to someone who you just left or are just about to meet so important that you risk reeking havoc on the population with a ton and a half projectile.
A few days earlier as I was driving around town I had to stop for a pedestrian. This pedestrian hand in her right hand a shopping bag. Under her right arm she was carrying some books and notebooks. Her left hand had a cell phone. Pressed firmly to her left ear. She was wearing the standard college uniform, Sweat shirt, funny wooden shoes and baggy warm up pants. What made this all stand out to me was that with every step she took her baggy warm up pants slipped further and further down. But she was not, by god, going to interrupt her conversation to fix the falling trousers. By the time she got to the other side of the street she decided that discretion was more important than the grocery bag. She set the bag down, hiked up the errant warm ups and continued on her way, still carrying on her conversation. But not before showing all of 12th Avenue that she was also wearing a pair of red, butt floss undies. Now you have to ask....Never mind.
I guess keeping in touch is a big deal.
Don't call me...I'll call you
A few days earlier as I was driving around town I had to stop for a pedestrian. This pedestrian hand in her right hand a shopping bag. Under her right arm she was carrying some books and notebooks. Her left hand had a cell phone. Pressed firmly to her left ear. She was wearing the standard college uniform, Sweat shirt, funny wooden shoes and baggy warm up pants. What made this all stand out to me was that with every step she took her baggy warm up pants slipped further and further down. But she was not, by god, going to interrupt her conversation to fix the falling trousers. By the time she got to the other side of the street she decided that discretion was more important than the grocery bag. She set the bag down, hiked up the errant warm ups and continued on her way, still carrying on her conversation. But not before showing all of 12th Avenue that she was also wearing a pair of red, butt floss undies. Now you have to ask....Never mind.
I guess keeping in touch is a big deal.
Don't call me...I'll call you
posted by Rob | 6:29 PM
11 Comments:
Butt floss undies - I'm dying - seriously. Is that what men call them? What a crack up you are - I'm thinking as soon as Barb reads this she's going to be putting a disclaimer out there about you.
And you DO realize about 99% of the women reading this talk on their cell phones constantly, and drive big ole SUV's (all those Texas snow storms and hills...), and a few won't admit it but they also wear butt floss undies....Thanks for the day-ending gut laugh. xoxoxo
A crack up? Really, Bev. But seriously, you have no idea how much people talking on cell phones and driving huge vehicles at the same time annoy this man. And he's had some hair raising, so to speak, experiences. Rob and I don't talk about hair a lot as you know, but still, I'm afraid I have to agree with him on this. I've seen some seriously scary traffic things happen and I'm all for making it illegal to carry on a conversation with a hand-held cell phone while driving a car.
And yes, he's always called thongs butt floss, to the point that even both my girls, who wear them, call them the same thing. Sigh.....
Good post, Honey. Wouldn't have expected anything less from you. And compared to what you apparently see on the street, mine must be granny pannies to you!
About that disclaimer, I tried to warn everyone.......
Dad- I can not believe you posted the words "butt floss". Oh my gosh. I hate to tell you that I talk on the phone all the time when I drive but I swear it's the only quiet place for me to talk. Seriously!
I'm guilty, too (not about the undies--I'll keep the details on that to myself, thank you very much). I carry on conversations while driving my own very large SUV and handing cheeseburgers back to the boys. When Dad rides with me, I'm surprised he doesn't wear a hard hat. But to date, I'm still accident- and ticket-free. :) Thank God for small favors!
Bev, "crack up"? I'm sure not pun intended.
Krissy..I warned you about my blogs. I have given up (almost) bugging you about driving and talking on the cell.
Sarah...nothing against SUV's or other large vehicles. Just Cell phones. I drive a Ford F250 4x4 and an Explorer.
Dad! I am with Krissy! I can't believe you mentioned butt floss! This post is funny, though. Cell phones, period, are a huge pet peeve of mine, but you always seem to put a hysterical spin on even the most annoying of things.
Aunt Bev - men, in general, probably don't refer to them as "butt floss", but my dad does.
Mom, thank you for mentioning my underwear on national blogging. How do you get a disclaimer anyway?
It is quite possible that men in general do refer to them as "butt floss", not that I generally discuss such things with them, but most men I know do.
Honey, I feel your pain. I really do. I know you were spouting off about driving big cars and talking on cell phones and almost killing innocent folks. Unfortunately, you mentioned butt floss. Seems to have raised some dander.
Did I actually say "spouting off?" I meant to say "intellectually expounding on the theory of...."
sorry
xxxoooforever
No Rob - I'm not quick enough to purposely use the term "crack" when talking about butt floss - seriously!
But (pun intended here) Dan DID know what I was talking about when I asked him -
I drive a Dodge Durango and first thing I do after putting on my seatbelt is call somebody. Too much valuable time to waste, just driving and watching for pedestrians!
Rob, I think I'm too old to comment on "Cell Phones", so you get a break from your mother inlaw, this time. Judith.
Oh my goodness, you guys are too funny. I wish you all were my family. Mine is too busy fighting with one another and complaining about everyone under the sun, being rude, and gossiping. Needless to say, other than my wonderful in-laws, they are NOT Christian. *sigh. You guys are all great. Including the "butt floss" bit. :) Cellphones can certainly be a problem, but so is talking to the person in the back seat. Pretty soon they are going to have to outlaw taking kids anywhere s myself) are too busy trying to deal with the fight in the back seat to watch the road. More than a few times I have had to stop lest I cause an accident due to kids geting out of hand.
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