Gotcha

Have you ever landed an airplane? Have you ever watched the big ones land. They rarely touch both wheels down at the same time. Everybody knows that to make a smooth landing you need to kiss the throttles a tad to smooth out the landing. Captain "Sully" made a perfect landing. Perfectly level. perfectly smooth. He did it in a very large aircraft loaded with 150 real people with absolutely zero power. 150 people walked away, or in this case swam away, unharmed. That is the kind of man you call hero. That is the man you put on the cover of Time magazine.

Who does Time like to have on their covers. Dictators from South America, Despots from the middle east and a Flim Flam man by the name of Barrack Husein Obama.

Barrack, No lobbyists in my cabinet, Obama. Has 6 so far and his cabinet isn't full yet. Gotcha

"I will sign no bill with pork barrel spending during my administration". The stimulus package he will sign today is all pork. 787 Billion dollars of pure bacon, ham hocks and sows ears. GOTCHA!

Here is some that I have found, just for your reading pleasure.

$8 Billion for a train to go from Las Vegas to DISNEYLAND!
$100,000 for doorbells in Laurel Mississippi. (I have flown in and out of Laurel Mississippi a couple of times...you could put a new doorbell on every structure in Laurel for $50 bucks.) Oh yea..it will create 2 jobs. GOTCHA!
And one of my all time favorites...$886,000 for a FRISBEE GOLF COURSE in Austin Texas. GOTCHA!

YOU CAN PUT LIPSTICK ON A PIG BUT IT WILL STILL BE PORK

This is insane! 1,100 pages of pork. Not a single lawmaker has even read it but it is going to be signed in Denver today by the Flim Flam Man. (he hasn't read it either)

Still in Training

I was in Wal-Mart the other day and while I was waiting for the wife to finish her shopping I stepped into the local McDonald's. In there I was attracted to a table with 4 older gentlemen. They were sipping coffee and discussing the state of the world. Or traffic conditions around Grand Junction. Or who had the latest surgery and for what. As I listened it began to dawn on me that I had a long way to go before I was a real, card carrying curmudgeon. I am an amateur. A rookie. These guys were pros. In the time it took them to finish their coffee they had summed up the traffic woes, offered their own fixes to the medicare system and declared Obama as a pretty good kid without a clue.
There was some dissension. One of them thought another was on the wrong meds and it got pretty loud when they were talking about "Bill's" problem with going to the bathroom. This was right after Bill got up to go to the bathroom.
I also learned that they really don't give a damn about these bailouts and stimulus packages. They said they won't live long enough to pay it back anyway. As long as they still got their social security "the Kid" could do whatever he wanted. But they were sorry to see him get impeached so soon. (I think they had Obama and Blogoyavich confused)
But soon my wife found me and I had to finish my day. But as we were driving home It came to me. I am going to have to wait a long time before I learn the secret Curmudgeon handshake and get my super secret Curmudgeon de-coder ring.